Lets get real for a minute

I was thinking. I try not to, but it happens. I always hope for the best, yet prepare for the worst. A rock solid mantra in theory, but not always practical.

Whenever I get sick, I think I'm gonna die. For some reason, I think every cough is bringing me one step closer to the grave. Its a feeling I just can't shake. I don't have a death wish. I enjoy my life and I am in no immediate rush to end it all.

It makes me wonder if I use my diet to bring my demise, sub Consciousness ly (not exactly sure how that word goes together. I'm tired of fighting with the spell check).

This really worries me. Am I trying to kill myself? Do I want to die? Why do I always think I'm dying?